Insight into the strict guidelines followed by Gypsy women – and why they opt out of traditional education

Gypsy women have revealed the very strict rules they live by in their community in a BBC documentary. 

Stacey Dooley, the host of Growing Up Gypsy, was granted exceptional access to the traditionally private Romani Gypsy community. She engaged in conversations with three young women to uncover the reality of life within their society.

Romani Gypsies, also called Travellers, have a history spanning almost five centuries in the UK. Initially, they exclusively lived in caravans or traveled constantly, a practice that changed only about 60 years ago. However, they continue to endure mistreatment, stereotyping, and prejudice even in modern times.

During the documentary, Stacey visited the residences of three young English Romani gypsy women. Each of them shared insights into the traditional customs they adhere to, which include strict gender roles dictating many aspects of their lives.

Each of the women alluded to practices that may seem unusual to many, such as waiting until marriage to have sex and dropping out of school. 

Chantelle, 23, lives in Bedfordshire with her husband Swaley, who proposed after just six weeks of dating. 

The young woman has gained more than 400,000 on TikTok thanks to her extensive cleaning routines and open and honest videos about mental health. 

As Stacey embarked on a spot of cleaning with Chantelle – despite there not being a ‘speck of dust’ about – she learned that it’s a chore that men would never help with in the community.  

Chantelle explained: ‘With Gypsy boys, they don’t get taught to clean. The girls on the other hand, they’ve had a cloth in their hand since they was a newborn.

‘I get a lot of people saying, “oh, she’s doing the same thing every day, she must be bored”. Personally, when I was younger, all I wanted to be was a mum. I wanted to have a husband and home. There’s worse things for a 23-year-old to be doing!’

Meanwhile 18-year-old Serena from Lincolnshire said that she would be ‘weirded out’ if her fiancé Marco offered to help with the cleaning in their new home. 

When asked if she would solely be taken on the chores, Serena said it was ‘100 per cent’ her role, and even admitted she’d tell Marco: ‘You’re being a woman now, stop it.’ 

Ebony, 22, who now lives with her family in Nottinghamshire after spending her childhood travelling around Europe in a trailer, confessed that the ‘old fashioned and traditional’ aspects of the community are the reason she loves it most. 

‘I like the fact that the women stay home and look after the kids and the men are the providers,’ she told Stacey.

‘Women are women and men is men, that’s how it should be.’ 

Ebony, 18, has been with her boyfriend for four years but, like many members of her community, they won’t live together until they’re married. 

‘You don’t live together until you’re married, you don’t go on holidays together,’ she said.

Reflecting that many in the UK will move out at 18 to go to university, Ebony said it was a never a life she would have wanted to lead, adding: ‘I can’t picture myself at 18, picking up and moving out.’

In another clip, while speaking to her colleague in the nail salon, she admitted she probably wouldn’t be allowed to go on holiday with female friends, even after getting married.

Waiting until marriage is still a very important value to the traveller to the community, despite Western culture generally turning away from it. 

Chantelle admitted that she and Swaley had married young after eloping.  

Swaley explained: ‘What it is with travellers, when you run off and spend the night, in our eyes, she’s my wife then. That’s how travellers did it years ago and that’s how travellers still do it.’

Serena and Marco were also waiting until marriage and wouldn’t move into their new bungalow until after tying the knot. 

Serena, who helps runs a stud farm for horses by day, said that even if she was allowed to move in before marriage, she ‘wouldn’t do it anyway’. 

‘That’s what you’re supposed to do,’ she said. ‘Even gorgers (non-travellers) years ago that’s what you’re meant to do.’

Even today, all three women acknowledged that they still face frequent abuse due to being a part of the community. 

Serena and Ebony acknowledged that they will try to ‘hide’ their identity, changing the way they dress and attempting to sound ‘more prim and proper’ to fit in with gorgers. 

Serena’s family said that the ongoing discrimination faced by gypsies plays a big role in low attendance rates that school.  

Her mother said: ‘They paint us in a bad light, they paint us as thieves, homeless, scroungers. 

‘Everyone complains that travellers don’t go to school but they make it impossible to go to school. 

‘You’re either bullied, or the teachers don’t help you. There’s some kind of a reason why travellers have pulled out of school earlier than they should be.’

Serena added that she herself had received ‘far more abuse’ from teachers than children while at school. 

On TikTok, women in the traveller community are unveiling their pristine homes, where they share cleaning tips with their followers – after spending several hours a day scrubbing them from top to bottom.

Hundreds of traveller women around the UK and Ireland proudly showcase their extremely clean homes, plus their top cleaning tips, on social media – while busting myths about the traveller community.

Whether they live in a trailer, caravan, or traditional house, maintaining a meticulously clean home is an essential part of life for traveller women, who typically assume traditional roles within the home.

Some women are so particular about keeping a perfect home that they will wrap their furniture in plastic to protect it from lasting damage or staining.

One house proud traveller, Cuzinsuzy, shared a tour of her home on TikTok, revealing her glamorous home which didn’t have a speck of dust in sight.

In one video, she showed off the expertly manicured house with perfectly hoovered carpets, glittering ornaments and spotless tables, most of which were protected with a layer of plastic.

Cuzinsuzy explained that a number of travellers even choose to coat their furniture in plastic wrap to ‘protect it from dirt.’

‘This plastic just protects the top of tables, you can put it on seats, in your kitchen. We just put it on the furniture so it doesn’t get destroyed,’ she explained.

The young traveller said she knew of women who kept their rugs wrapped in plastic to keep them completely clean. ‘I even know girls that plastic the front of their fridges,’ she added. 

Another traveller, Megan Rose Smith, showed off her immaculate trailer, revealing a glossy grey marble interior.

In her TikTok description, the young Gypsy had written: ‘cleaning and cooking’, adding that she is a ‘follower of Jesus Christ’.

Another traveller, Marybridget Stanley, has shared her cleaning journey on TikTok. 

Marybridget is a popular social media star who frequently shares videos about her life as a traveller, showing her glamorous makeup looks and spectacular outfits.

Along with her glam lifestyle content, Marybridget also posts some videos of her cleaning her trailer.

In one clip, she posted a video of her giving a ‘deep clean’ to her property, which she said has made a habit of doing every single week on a Monday.

‘This is what we’re dealing with today,’ she said, panning the camera over her caravan. 

Mary also keeps covers over her seats, which is a common feature in traveller homes. 

She showed off an impressive haul of pink Spanish cleaning products from ‘Costa Del Essex’.

Spanish cleaning products appear to be a popular choice among traveller women, with several praising them in cleaning TikTok clips.

Marybridget filmed herself ‘deep cleaning’ her trailer, as well as changing her bedsheets.

Stacey Dooley: Growing Up Gypsy is available to stream now on BBC iPlayer.