Nikki Glaser revealed the wildest and most controversial jokes she removed from her opening monologue at the 2025 Golden Globes on Sunday night.
During an interview with Howard Stern, the 40-year-old comedian discussed the fine line between humor and ridicule while making jokes about Hollywood’s top celebrities. She shared a collection of cutting remarks that she ultimately decided not to include in her routine.
The wisecracks that she didn’t end up saying on stage at the Beverly Hilton included shots at A-listers ranging from Ben Affleck to Alec Baldwin.
She revealed that she chose not to crack a joke about Diddy, concerned that it might provoke a negative reaction from the audience. Additionally, she mentioned a joke involving Hitler that didn’t resonate well with her younger “Gen Z assistant,” prompting her to discard it.
On January 6, during an appearance on SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show, Glaser went over a list of jokes that she consciously opted not to deliver during the main broadcast.
Nikki Glaser revealed the 10 wildest and most controversial jokes she removed from her opening monologue at the 2025 Golden Globes on Sunday night; seen on January 06, 2025
‘The Golden Globes is the only show where you can see the biggest stars and movies and television joined together with the same goal — getting out of here tonight before Dax Shepard asked them to do his podcast,’ she began. ‘This is the last time all of you will be in the same room together until the Diddy trial.’
As for why she didn’t end up cracking that particular joke, Glaser explained she feared people in the room would feel she was ‘accusing’ of them of being ‘involved’ in his legal issues and buck the association.
Still, she ended up throwing in another, eyebrow-raising Diddy joke, which involved Zendaya.
‘Zendaya is here. Zendaya, you were incredible in Dune. Oh, my God, I woke up for all of your scenes. You were so good. And Challengers, girl? It was so good. I mean, that movie was more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card,’ she joked. ‘Oh, I’m upset too. The afterparty’s not going to be good this year. But, we have to move on. A Stanley Tucci freak-off just doesn’t have the same ring to it. No baby oil this year, just lots of olive oil.’
Another that didn’t make the cut alluded to Luigi Mangioni, who has been charged with murder in the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson.
Glaser had intended on making the following joke: ‘Glen Powell is nominated tonight for Hit Man. Who would have thought that by the end of the year, you’d only be the second hottest hit man in America.’
The performer also held back from making any Catholic Church pedophile jokes.
‘We’ve all heard them, we don’t need more of that,’ she said about the following joke.
While reflecting on towing the line between comedy and mockery as she poked fun at Hollywood’s biggest stars, the comedian, 40, shared a list of harsh quips that did not make the cut during an interview with Howard Stern
The wisecracks that she didn’t end up saying on stage at the Beverly Hilton included shots at A-listers ranging from Ben Affleck to Alec Baldwin; seen at the 82nd Annual Golden Globes
Before deciding not to go in that direction, she said she almost said this joke: ‘I loved Conclave. It’s about the choosing a new pope. It was heartwarming. It will touch you so much that the church will have to move it to another theater. Hot tip: You don’t need ID to get into the Conclave after party.’
Glaser also stopped herself from making a quip, in which she referred to Adrien Brody as a ‘two-time Holocaust survivor’ for starring in two Holocaust movies (The Pianist and The Brutalist) that would ‘thank baby Hitler for his career.’
Another joke that went unsaid was: ‘Only Murders in the Building is amazing. I think it’s so cool that legends like Steve Martin, Martin Short and Meryl Streep are still at it. It just goes to show you that you’re never too old to still need money. Why are you still working to hard? What’s going on, did you get caught up in the Hawk Tuah crypto scheme?’
Perhaps one of the most hilarious included a swipe at Ben Affleck’s divorce from Jennifer Lopez.
Although she still made another joke at Affleck’s expense, she did remove this one: ‘Here’s Ben Affleck. I can’t wait to see which Jennifer you try to ruin next.’
Perhaps one of the most hilarious included a swipe at Ben Affleck’s divorce from Jennifer Lopez; seen on January 7, 2024
Glaser had intended on making the following joke: ‘Glen Powell is nominated tonight for Hit Man. Who would have thought that by the end of the year, you’d only be the second hottest hit man in America’
Another joke she didn’t say was: ‘The Wild Robot is nominated tonight. And by that, I mean Nicole Kidman after two white wines’
She also was on the fence about poking fun at Amy Adams, but ended up deciding against it.
Glaser revealed she wanted to say: ‘Amy Adams is nominated for her performance in Night Bitch, while I was totally snubbed for my performance in Day Slut. The documentary category is tough, though, by the way, Night Bitch is what Diddy hears every evening before it’s lights out.’
Another joke she didn’t say was: ‘The Wild Robot is nominated tonight. And by that, I mean Nicole Kidman after two white wines.’
Glaser also axed one about Alec Baldwin and the Rust incident, which left Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, that she said was ‘too mean.’
The comedian said she nearly said: ‘Michael Keaton was so great in Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice and Alec Baldwin, sadly, did not come back to play a ghost because he was too busy making them.’
The last that went on said was: ‘To sound like Bob Dylan, Timothée Chalamet took years of vocal lessons because, apparently, that’s how long it takes to learn to smoke 40,000 cigarettes. Timothée took lessons in guitar, dialect movement and vocals to become Bob Dylan, while Bob Dylan became Bob Dylan the old-fashioned way – heroin and autism. Undiagnosed, but come on now, a lot of songs about trains.’
