Hilaria Baldwin has revealed her husband Alec Baldwin wanted to kill himself after the tragic Rust shooting.
Hilaria, 41, revealed on the recent episode of their reality show, The Baldwins, that Alec, 66, had messaged her expressing his desire to end his own life the day after the tragic incident.
During a conversation with a friend, Hilaria shared, “I found these text messages the other day, between us, you know, the day after. And you know, he said he wanted to kill himself.”
In October 2021, cinematographer Halyna Hutchins died when a gun the A-list actor was using as a prop discharged on the set of the western film.
The following October, Alec reached an undisclosed settlement with Hutchins’ family in their wrongful death lawsuit.
His trial for involuntary manslaughter was thrown out in August 2024.
Hilaria Baldwin has revealed her husband Alec Baldwin wanted to kill himself after the tragic Rust shooting.
In October 2021, cinematographer Halyna Hutchins died when a gun the A-list actor was using as a prop discharged on the set of the western film
In a confessional, Hilaria further explained, “He has survivor’s guilt. You’re involved in this thing that nobody could even possibly imagine. And so it goes back to that day. He wishes it were him.”
‘He would change places in a second. This has affected his health, and his mental health tremendously.’
‘The past few years, all of the sudden he started having heart problems. He’s been hospitalized multiple times. He’s fainted… everybody’s just screaming, I’m going, I’m on top, and I’m shaking him.
‘It’s hard sometimes. But hopefully we’re in the hardest, but tail end of it.’
The couple have been candid about the impact of the tragedy on their reality show.
On the premiere episode, Alec spoke candidly about how he was mentally drained by the shooting, while Hilaria revealed how he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
‘This past year was just terrible,’ Alec admitted while speaking in his confessional.
‘There were times I’d lay in bed and I’d just go “I can’t get up.” And that’s not like me at all. I’m not like that in any way. Never.’
Speaking in her own confessional, Hilaria, 41, added: ‘Everyone who is close to Alec has seen his mental health decline.
Alec has also spoken about how he was mentally drained by the shooting and the subsequent trial
‘He was diagnosed with PTSD, and he says in his darkest moments, if an accident were to have happened this day why am I still here, why couldn’t it have been me?’
Hilaria noted her husband’s change in character was ‘painful.’
Addressing him, she continued: ‘You wake up in the morning and you’re like, “Oh God, why did I wake up?” You get to the point where you’re so dark… it’s so painful.’
Alec replied: ‘My good friend said to me the other day, “How are you doing?” and I said, “I’m happier when I’m asleep than when I’m awake.”‘
‘Even though this is hard and there are moments where I don’t know how we’re going to continue on, I look at the kids and I see how hard we’re trying to create happiness for them, even if we’re masking stuff for ourselves,’ Hilaria said.
‘I know what we’re going through is maybe unique, but every family goes through hard times…
‘All we can do is do our best and try and make our kids happy. And so that’s what we’re doing.’
Alec and Hilaria tied the knot in 2012 and are parents to seven children.
Speaking in his new reality show, Alec admitted: ‘There were times I’d lay in bed and I’d just go “I can’t get up”. And that’s not like me at all’
In an emotional moment, Alec added: ‘I honestly, from the bottom of my soul, I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have you and our kids if I was going through this.
Elsewhere in her confessional, Hilaria said: ‘Halyna lost her life in the most unthinkable tragedy.
‘A son lost his mom. We’re going to feel and carry this pain forever. This will be part of our family’s story.’
‘This has just been surreal, I mean I can’t even believe that we’re going through this,’ Alec said to his wife in another scene.
‘And I always feel more in pain about you than me because I think to myself, I’m going to try my best just to get through it, and when I think about what it’s done to you and how much it’s hurt you and everything.’
