An expert in manners shares the wedding rules that women unknowingly break, causing controversy

It’s always difficult to guarantee you’re following etiquette rules as both a party host and guest. 

While some might appear outdated, most are simply accepted by now and following them guarantees you won’t offend any attendees.  

Content creator Just Mindy, based in Florida, went viral when she outlined ‘some rules of etiquette’ she’s ‘seen young women break.’ 

The controversial etiquette rules quickly went viral on X (formerly Twitter). Some believed they were old-fashioned and outdated – with one person calling them ‘archaic, oppressive and exclusionary.’

However, plenty of people agreed, with one commenter writing, ‘people don’t know manners anymore’ and that it ‘should be a semester class in middle or high school.’

To find out if Mindy’s divisive rules make sense, FEMAIL reached out to etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts.

The first rule Mindy outlined was that ‘your bridal or baby shower should not be hosted by yourself or your mother,’ because ‘it is considered rude.’

Instead, ‘it can be hosted by your sister, a cousin, a friend or a group of people.’ 

It’s always difficult to guarantee you’re following etiquette rules as both a party host and guest – hile some might appear outdated, most are simply accepted (stock photo) 

Content creator Just Mindy went viral when she outlined ‘some rules of etiquette’ she’s ‘seen young women break’ 

Lisa, known as the Golden Rules Gal, confirmed to DailyMail.com, ‘Hosting your own wedding shower is like throwing yourself a surprise party, it’s simply not done.’ 

Lisa said hosting your own bridal party can send the wrong message and make it look like you simply want people to give you presents, so it’s best to sit back and ‘graciously wait for others to offer.’

According to the viral thread, another rule is ‘if you are requesting people wear black tie to your event, your event must be a black tie level event,’ which means no buffets or cash bars. Instead, you must provide an elegant seated meal and most importantly, an open bar. 

Lisa agreed that ‘a buffet might not fit the elegance of a formal event, and a cash bar is a major faux pas because your guests shouldn’t have to pay for their drinks.’

One major issue for event attendees is not being allowed to bring a plus one. And according to the original Twitter thread, that’s unacceptable. Mindy said that ‘all members of the bridal party, even the unmarried members, must receive a plus one option’ at a wedding.

Lisa, who’s based in San Francisco, disagreed with this notion, and explained, ‘while it’s a kind gesture, it’s not a strict rule that all members of the bridal party must receive one’ and said this depends on the couple’s budget and venue capacity. 

However, ‘if one person in the bridal party is given a plus one, then all should receive the same courtesy.’

Another issue is that pops up is when the bridesmaids are expected to shell out hundreds of dollars, not only on their dress and the bachelorette party, but also on hair and makeup before the ceremony. 

The X thread insisted, ‘If the bride plans on requiring bridesmaids have their hair and makeup done by a specific person, they should plan to cover that cost,’ and Lisa agreed. 

To find out if Mindy’s divisive rules make sense, FEMAIL reached out to etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts, known as the Golden Rules Gal on social media 

According to the viral thread, another rule is ‘if you are requesting people wear black tie to your event, your event must be a black tie level event,’ which means no buffets or cash bars (stock photo)

‘If you require it, you pay for it,’ Lisa told FEMAIL. ‘Suggesting a specific look is one thing, but requiring your bridesmaids to get professional hair and makeup is an expense that should not fall on them.’ 

Another regulation was that ‘the amount of your gift should be at least the cost of the meal you are receiving at the wedding.’ 

For example, ‘if you are receiving a sit down steak dinner with multiple courses, your gift should reflect that.’

However, when it comes to matching the price of the meal, Lisa explained, ‘a wedding is a celebration of love, not a financial transaction.’

‘Generosity isn’t measured in dollars, it’s measured in thoughtfulness which has no price tag,’ Lisa said.