Rachael Kirkconnell claimed Matt James did not tell her he was planning to announce their breakup via social media.
Rachael Kirkconnell, 28, shared on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast with host Alex Cooper, on January 28, that Matt James, 33, surprised her by announcing their split on Instagram on January 16. Kirkconnell, who began dating James during season 25 of The Bachelor, expressed that she was taken aback by how he chose to end things.
She mentioned, “He didn’t even text me beforehand to let me know, like, ‘Hey, I’m going to post this.’ It was painful to realize that my friends, family, and even my younger sister found out this way. I didn’t have the chance to discuss it with them privately or process my feelings for at least a day.”
Despite James’ shock move, which she also labeled “f—d up” during the interview, Kirkconnell added that she has “spoken with him since all of that.”
In the breakup announcement shared by James, who found love with Kirkconnell on the reality show in 2021, there was a picture of the former couple from The Bachelor alongside a caption. The caption read, “Father God, grant Rachael and me the strength to heal our broken hearts. Give us a sense of peace about our decision to end our relationship that goes beyond worldly understanding. Surround our friends and family with kindness and love to support us through this.”
Kirkconnell confirmed on the podcast that she and James had broken up “the same day” James’ post went live.
Kirkconnell’s podcast interview also delved into what she believed James’ motivations were behind his breakup post, revealing that she is still confused by it. “I don’t know if it was out of just him being so worked up, if it was out of anger, or if it was one of those things where he felt like he needed to do it to really finally just put a nail in the coffin,” she told Cooper, 30. “I do know that he definitely acknowledges that that was not the right decision.”
Kirkconnell and James broke up the first time after taping of The Bachelor wrapped, revealing their separation during the After the Final Rose special which aired in March that year. The pair reconciled one month after the TV special.
This second split came as a major shock to fans who had followed the pair’s journey closely over the years. In October 2024, James even teased the possibility of marriage during an appearance on the “De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan” podcast.
“I think that’s the next step,” James quipped during the interview, which also featured Kirkconnell. “Having had so many of Rachael’s friends go through engagements, I wouldn’t dare go look at a ring without consulting Rachael first.
Kirkconnell’s in-depth “Call Her Daddy” interview also expanded on the aftermath of James’ breakup post, detailing how she was awoken by a call from James at 1 a.m. less than one week after the post went up.
“He just asked how I was doing,” Kirkconnel told Cooper. “Like, how do you think I’m doing? I confronted him about the post … and that’s when he was like, yeah, I fully admit that I could have handled this a lot better. And he apologized.”
Kirkconnell added that she doesn’t “want people thinking” James is a bad guy. “But, obviously, he made a mistake … I think he regrets it,” she said.
The podcast also revealed how Kirkconnell believed that James didn’t see compatible qualities within her, which ultimately led to the pair’s split. “He said that at the end of the day there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife,” she explained. “At the end of the day, there are things that we aren’t compatible with and the whole accountability and saying sorry and all that was really the main thing.”
