A family therapist is weighing in on why King Charles III and Prince Harry’s rift is a heartbreaking circumstance.
“When the public perception takes precedence over the private relationship, it’s a tragedy,” shared Dr. Gail Saltz with Us Weekly on Friday, May 9. “Harry and William are the only brothers they’ll ever have. Charles is the only father Harry will ever have. These are essential human relationships.”
Not directly linked with the royals, Dr. Saltz is optimistic that the family can have private discussions about their future relationship. Nonetheless, Charles, aged 76, and Harry’s positions as public figures play a role in this process.
Dr. Saltz pointed out the existence of two distinct relationship dynamics. She stated, “There are two different relationship lines here. There’s the public one because they are a working family, a royal family with a historical and tabloid place. And then there’s the private family relationship.”
Dr. Saltz, who is a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College, added that given the royal family’s status, it can be “hard to see how valued the private [relationship] is” due to the “strict rules” for the public side of the group’s dynamic.
“Historically, if you break those professional rules, you’re out,” she said. “Part of the rules is that you don’t air dirty laundry or talk publicly about anything negative.”
While most families can’t relate to some of the royal family’s issues, the dynamic can be “mirrored” to some who experience estrangement.
“It’s very relatable. Unfortunately, many families go through estrangement,” she shared. “Siblings become estranged, parent-child relationships become estranged.”
In Dr. Saltz’s experience, she typically advocates “for doing everything possible to avoid estrangement.” The only exception comes in “situations of abuse” or “toxically destructive” relationships. As for how to reconnect, Dr. Saltz advised that the parties focus on what’s ahead rather than dwell on the past.
“It’s hard enough for families who are estranged,” she told Us. “Ideally, they would sit down and talk about what’s possible for the future, not just rehash the past. Harry could say, ‘Can we meet? Can we talk?’ King Charles likely won’t say much publicly. But can they talk privately? Express feelings like ‘I miss you’ and ‘I’m sorry for how I hurt you.’”
Charles and Harry’s strained bond worsened in 2020 when the Duke of Sussex, 40, stepped down as a working member of the royal family alongside his wife, Meghan Markle. Tensions escalated after Harry and Meghan, 42, publicly spoke out about their experiences with the royal family on numerous occasions.
Despite his remarks on where he stands with his family, Harry has been candid about wanting to reconcile with his father. In a recent interview, Harry admitted he wants to mend things since he does not know how much longer Charles will be around amid his battle with cancer.
“I would love reconciliation with my family. There’s no point in continuing to fight anymore,” Harry told BBC in May. “Life is precious. I don’t know how much longer my father has.”
Harry also claimed that the monarch “won’t speak” to him amid his recent legal battle to get back his and Meghan’s government-funded security. (The couple lost their security access when they stepped back from the royal family.)
Harry appeared in court in April to appeal a 2024 decision. U.K. Judge Sir Geoffrey Vos dismissed the appeal this month.
