KENNEDY: I've got my hands on an early version of Jill Biden's memoir! Here's what they're finally admitting... and her ultimate nemesis will be quaking

The Biden Crime family has sunk to its last big grift.

After their time in office, it seems that Doddering Joe and Jill are left with little else but to turn to selling their stories to the highest bidder.

Rumors suggest that they could make a $30 million deal for a ‘his and hers’ tell-all book set, which is significantly less than what the Obamas received.

However, Biden’s upcoming book may lack substance based on his recent appearance on The View. During the show, the hosts struggled to understand his mumbling, and it was evident that he had difficulty engaging with the soft-ball questions thrown his way.

Loser Joe told a simpering Joy Behar that he could have ‘beat’ Donald Trump in the 2024 race, then described his successor as ‘vacant.’ It was almost as if the last four years never happened – and, perhaps, by Joe’s memory, they haven’t.

Indeed, that was the ‘mic drop moment’ for old butter fingers who’s better at holding ice cream cones than audiences.

On the other hand, there will be no shortage of print-venom for Lady MacBiden to hiss at the likes of Nancy Pelosi, George Clooney, Big Bad Barack, and of course her ultimate nemesis: Kamala.

Jill reportedly kept a daily diary during her White House years and the notoriously vengeful First Lady likely has some serious grudges that she’d likely be delighted to revisit.

The Biden Crime family has sunk to its last big grift. With their post-presidency crashing into the rocks of history there's nothing left for Doddering Joe and co-captain Jill, but to sell their sob stories to the highest bidder.

The Biden Crime family has sunk to its last big grift. With their post-presidency crashing into the rocks of history there’s nothing left for Doddering Joe and co-captain Jill, but to sell their sob stories to the highest bidder.

Loser Joe told a simpering Joy Behar that he could have 'beat' Donald Trump in the 2024 race, then described his successor as 'vacant.' It was almost as if the last four years never happened ¿ and, perhaps, by Joe's memory, they haven't.

Loser Joe told a simpering Joy Behar that he could have ‘beat’ Donald Trump in the 2024 race, then described his successor as ‘vacant.’ It was almost as if the last four years never happened – and, perhaps, by Joe’s memory, they haven’t.

There will be no shortage of print-venom for Lady MacBiden to hiss at the likes of Nancy Pelosi, George Clooney, Big Bad Barack, and of course her ultimate nemesis: Kamala.

There will be no shortage of print-venom for Lady MacBiden to hiss at the likes of Nancy Pelosi, George Clooney, Big Bad Barack, and of course her ultimate nemesis: Kamala.

In fact, I managed to get my paws on an advance (fictional) copy of Jill’s memoir – and you’ll never believe what’s in it:

Working Title: ‘Weekend at Joey’s: Just Sniffing Around’

Chapter 5: Biden my time

Between dodging Hunter’s loan requests (he said he needed new paint brushes) and texting mainstream media chumps about how spry and coherent my husband was, I had started to grow very wary of Kamala.

First, I caught her sprinkling something into Joe’s orange Gatorade. But she already knew that only I administer his pep juice.

Then when Joe and I were in Asia for our last summit, she showed up to the hotel room with crampons and climbing ropes, claiming she wanted to take the president on a ‘little jaunt’ up to Everest base camp. He couldn’t even walk across the White House lawn without a sherpa.

The only thing worse than Kamala’s scheming was Doug Emhoff’s repeated suggestions that he and I go out for drinks.

Chapter 14: Camp-tastrophe

The day before Joey faced off against Dream Boat Donald in the first presidential debate, I was convinced it was going to be a disaster.

The extended Biden family (minus Hunter’s daughter Navy, of course) were hunkered down for debate prep at Camp David. But all the president wanted to do was soak in an Epsom bath, sniff his own hair and mutter, ‘who’s the pretty girl?’

Once, he showed up for his remedial civics class wearing his CPAC mask.

In Joe’s defense, prep sessions are held at 6pm, which is essentially the middle of the night for him.

I reached out to our former flack Jen Psaki for some pre-emptive crisis PR, but she told me: ‘Let me circle back, Dr. Jill. Ok? Buh bye.’ Well, the joke is on ole’ Carrot Top. She got more airtime as White House shill then a host at MSNBC.

Chapter 15: The emperor has no… brains

Seeing Joe shuffle onto that Atlanta stage was like watching a lemming headed for the cliffs. And sexy Trump was waiting there like a Cheshire cat ready to consume the poor little guy.

Then… I blacked out. I have no memory of the debate – thank God!

That’s why I told Joe had done a good job. I, literally, had no idea what happened. ‘You answered every question, you knew all the facts,’ I said to him before a cheering crowd of trans activists and Ukrainian businessmen.

Only later did I realize just how badly it had all gone. After Judas Napoleon (aka George Stephanopoulos) let slip that he didn’t think Joe could ‘serve four more years,’ I felt the trappings of the White House slipping from my grasp.

In a moment of weakness, I considered packing Joe a PB&J, putting him on an Amtrak to Florida and letting him wander off into the Everglades.

Between dodging Hunter's loan requests (he said he needed new paint brushes) and texting mainstream media chumps about how spry and coherent my husband was, I had started to grow very wary of Kamala.

Between dodging Hunter’s loan requests (he said he needed new paint brushes) and texting mainstream media chumps about how spry and coherent my husband was, I had started to grow very wary of Kamala.

Chapter 16: Vultures circle

The day after the Stephanopoulos stab, I knew it was all over.

Nancy Pelosi wouldn’t answer my phone calls and the checks from China stopped arriving in the mailbox in Delaware.

‘Oh, Joey,’ I thought. ‘If we can’t sell access to the highest reaches of the US government, how are we going to survive?’ After all, Northern Virginia Community College doesn’t pay very well.

Then George Clooney’s New York Times op-ed dropped – and we all knew that Barack was behind-the-scenes pulling the strings.

It was good while it lasted, I told the grandkids, but now they all had to get real jobs.

Chapter 20: Election night

You would think election night was the worst of our lives, but when you have nothing to lose… you play drinking games.

Every time Kamala lost a battleground state, Anita Dunn would yell ‘DRINK!’ and after 6 Jäger shots we all passed out somewhere between the poll closings in Michigan and Wisconsin.

For the next week, we holed up with Hunter and his soul brother/sugar daddy Kevin Morris and prank called Emhoff every hour pretending to be from a nanny-staffing service. Doughy Doug took the bait every time.

I never thought I would admit this in public, but when a publisher is paying you millions you show them ALL your warts.

Hell, I’ve even made a few things up! But this nugget is the God’s honest truth. I voted for Trump. Twice. And I’d do it again!

You May Also Like
Dating apps tied to kidnapping of US citizens in Mexico, embassy says, prompting security alert for travelers

US embassy issues security alert for travelers due to dating apps linked to kidnapping incidents in Mexico

The U.S. embassy in Mexico on Monday said it has confirmed reports…
What Meghan's neighbors are all brutally laughing about behind her back... revealed to KENNEDY by her Montecito mole

Gossipy neighbors in Montecito are spilling the tea on Meghan to KENNEDY.

Blimey! A new opinion poll is a wake-up call for The Sovereign…
Three British nationals could face death by firing squad for allegedly smuggling cocaine into Indonesia

Three UK citizens may be sentenced to death by firing squad for purportedly bringing cocaine into Indonesia

NEWYou can now listen to Fox News articles! Three British individuals could…
North Carolina parents charged after son is struck and killed by SUV while walking with older brother

Parent in North Carolina are accused after their son is hit and fatally injured by a Sports Utility Vehicle as he walks with his older sibling

NEWYou can now listen to Fox News articles! A 7-year-old boy was…
‘MobLand’ Ending Explained: Is Harry Alive? Who’s the Winner of the Gang War?

Deciphering the Ending of ‘MobLand’: Harry’s Fate Revealed and Gang War Outcome Discussed

MobLand went out with a bang. Several bangs, actually. And a slssshh,…
Erika Jayne's ex Tom Giradi, 86, faces dying behind bars as he's given prison sentence after fraud case

Tom Girardi, former husband of Erika Jayne, aged 86, is sentenced to prison for fraud and may spend his final days behind bars.

Tom Girardi has been sentenced to seven years and three months in…
Taylor Swift fans fall for pregnancy rumors after singer steps out with 'baby bump'

Fans of Taylor Swift believe false rumors of her being pregnant after she is seen with a ‘baby bump’

Taylor Swift fans convinced themselves that the pop star was pregnant this…
'It Is Cheating': Piers Morgan Calls Out Transgender Athlete to His Face

Piers Morgan Confronts Transgender Athlete in Controversial Exchange

The host of “Piers Morgan Uncensored” was engaged in a conversation with…
Mike Tyson's mom had sex with men as he lay sleeping in bed next to her... years later he asked an agonizing question

Mike Tyson’s mother had sexual relationships while he was beside her sleeping, and many years later, he confronted her with a difficult question.

Regarding Father’s Day gifts, opting for Mark Kriegel’s new book ‘Baddest Man:…
5.8-magnitude earthquake shakes Turkey off Marmaris

Turkey shaken by 5.8-magnitude earthquake near Marmaris

ANKARA, Turkey — Officials reported that a coastal town in Turkey experienced…
Kelly Dever denies seeing key figures near Karen Read’s vehicle in 'disaster' testimony: expert

Expert: Kelly Dever testifies she did not see important individuals near Karen Read’s car

NEWYou can now listen to Fox News articles! During Karen Read’s trial,…
Inside the group making conservatives 'cool'... as they take down woke 'bulls**t' and stand up for working Americans

Exploring the group that aims to make conservatives appealing by challenging woke culture and supporting the working class

In Washington, D.C., a youthful conservative group is marking a significant achievement…