Predicting Potential Outcome of Taylor Swift’s Visit to Cleveland by Mike Polk Jr.

CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, Ohio — The upcoming Browns game is creating a lot of excitement, and surprisingly, it’s not just because of the underperforming football team.

It’s because it’s a homecoming game for Cleveland Heights native Travis Kelce, who just happens to be dating the most famous woman on the planet.

Taylor Swift has been on a record-breaking tour and hasn’t made it to a Chiefs road game this season. However, now that her tour has wrapped up, there are rumors swirling that she might show up in Cleveland to support her boyfriend at his football game.

While this is all purely speculation, I’m going to take it a step further and offer a daring prediction: Taylor Swift will not only be in Cleveland this weekend, but I’m also predicting that Travis will propose during their time here!

Now, in fairness, I’ll acknowledge that the little lady and I have been watching A LOT of cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies lately, and there’s a decent chance that’s coloring my perspective. Still, consider the narrative elements:

• He’s the hometown hero who’s back for the holidays.
• She’s his famous girlfriend visiting his hometown.
• It’s the notoriously romantic holiday season.
• It’s also her birthday week.

This all adds up to a 95% chance of a proposal taking place this weekend. The only real question is, “Where?”

Based on my analysis, it will most likely take place in his hometown of Cleveland Heights at one of three nostalgic locations.

Travis has called out this classic University Heights pizza joint in the past, and I have to admit, it’s a pretty romantic spot. I hear they’ve been known to host plenty of first dates and a wedding or two, so just saying!

Former head football coach Mike Jones told me that Travis keeps it low-key when he visits home, but he has been known to stop into the gym to play some late-night hoops. Plus, there’s plenty of Kelce memorabilia and trophies to show off, so why not?

Travis, you could take her to the most romantic neighborhood in Cleveland: Little Italy. Ask her here. Could do worse!

So there you have it. Now, the fortunate thing for Travis is that the Chiefs have already clinched their playoff spot and the Browns are still the Browns, so he won’t have to overexert himself on the field and can focus on the romantic task at hand, that task being completing the plot to the Hallmark holiday movie that is his life, entitled: “A Hometown Touchdown Christmas: The Travis Kelce & Taylor Swift Engagement Saga.” 

Regardless of whether you’re traveling solo or with a companion, Mr. Kelce, welcome home. Keep repping us proud, and happy holidays to you and yours.