The Traitors (BBC 1)
An ex-soldier who calls herself ‘Assassin Barbie’. An Anglican priest in disguise, her dog collar craftily hidden.
A woman feigning a Welsh accent who says she is, ‘being a totally fake version of myself’.
And two 20-something siblings who, when asked, ‘How would you feel about murdering your sister?’ both salivated at the chance.
‘We knew what we signed up for,’ grinned one. ‘If she’s got to go because I need to survive, then she’s got to go.’
Television’s nastiest, most deceitful gameshow is back, and it’s more addictive than ever.
The Traitors is turning us into a nation that celebrates deception, where the most shamelessly treacherous liar is the winner.
But at least we’re honest about it. Backstabbing has become cool.
The show returned with a montage that highlighted its Harry Potter chic, with 25 contestants boarding a West Highlands steam train that snaked across the Glenfinnan viaduct on its way to the Traitors castle.
Presenter Claudia Winkleman was awaiting them, picking out her wardrobe with the help of a snowy owl. She went for the fingerless red leather gloves – always a good look for a sorceress.
Even before the players arrived at the castle, the game took a new twist. Like a guard announcing the next stop, Claudia’s voice echoed over the intercom.
There were too many people on the train, she said. Three had to get off… one from each carriage. You might suppose that, in this game above all, volunteers to sacrifice themselves for the good of rivals they’ve never met before would be hard to find.
But within minutes, three people stepped forward. Perhaps we Brits aren’t truly as horrid as we like to pretend.
The first to go was Fozia, a 50-year-old outreach manager in a headscarf.
‘I’m happy to take this one for the team,’ she declared, forgetting that The Traitors is not a team game.
Jack, a 24-year-old gardener, was next out. ‘I’m a Yorkshire lad,’ he bragged. ‘Somebody passes me a humbug, I don’t sit for three hours sucking it. I crunch it.’
Impatience is no advantage in this show, and he found himself standing by the track, wondering what he’d just done.
Third off was Alexander, a 38-year-old former diplomat who talked himself into trouble – the fatal weakness of diplomats through the ages. ‘I mean,’ he began, ‘I’m not totally against…’
Every one of his travelling companions turned and stared, like a pack of hyenas that had just heard a wildebeest give a sickly cough.
They scented weakness. Goodbye, Alexander.
When this show first aired in 2022, few of the contestants knew what to expect. They weren’t exactly innocent but there was a naivety about their gameplay.
Not this time. Everyone has a plan, and many are clued up on subtle signals that could denote a liar.
Shortly after the remaining 22 arrived at Claudia’s lair, they were sitting at the round table – more Hammer Horror than King Arthur – wearing blindfolds.
Their host patrolled at their backs, her high-heeled boots clicking on the parquet floor, as she silently touched three players, all of them female, on the shoulder.
These were the Traitors, the contestants selected to evict or ‘murder’ the others one by one. It’s up to the rest of them, the Faithful, to identify these double agents and banish them.
At stake, a prize pot of up to £120,000.Retired opera singer Linda, 70, practically gave herself away within seconds of removing her blindfold.
Picked to be one of the deadly three, she sat bolt upright and looked round as if she’d heard her name, when Claudia said the word ‘Traitors’.
Paparazzi use this trick all the time – call out a celeb’s name, to make them turn and look into the camera. Even royals and A-listers who face this every day find it hard not to react.
It’s instinct. And Linda’s reaction didn’t go unnoticed.
Psychological twists like that, far more than the competition for cash, are what make this the most thrilling and compelling reality show on television.
One obvious fact is that it’s more difficult to deceive someone who knows you well. Sisters Armani and Maia both insisted at the start of the game that they’d have no trouble cheating each other.
There’s plenty of common-or-garden sibling rivalry between the two. But when 27-year-old Armani was picked to be a Traitor, her younger sister Maia, 25, spotted the change in her almost immediately.
‘The way she’s talking is different,’ she told the camera, before guiltily doubting herself. ‘Maybe she’s just doing her work voice, maybe she’s trying to make herself seem more pleasant.’
Ouch. Little sisters can be brutal. So far, they haven’t betrayed each other, but it can only be a matter of time.
The first of the Faithful to be eliminated by the trio of Traitors was a 24-year-old academic called Yin who, like diplomat Alexander, made the basic mistake of drawing attention to herself by talking too much.
Yin let everyone know she has a doctorate in communication studies and is a specialist in ‘the science of persuasion’.
Her plan was to read minds by studying facial expressions and clothing. No one likes a smarty pants. It makes the rest of us feel stupid. Yin’s self-proclaimed braininess was an obvious threat to the rest and she was ousted.
Window cleaner Keith, 65, wasn’t sorry to see her go. ‘She was totally intelligent,’ he explained. ‘She was reading the books in the library.’ Burn the witch!
The genuinely clever way to play is by looking dim, like former soldier Leanne. The blonde 28-year-old dressed all in pink and claimed to be ‘a nail technician’.
Business director Charlotte, 32, was also not who she claimed to be. Born and bred in London, she told everyone she came from Abergavenny but quietly admitted to viewers that this was a ploy: ‘Welsh is one of the most trustworthy accents.’
Some of the other players kept such a low profile that we’ve barely registered them, such as swimming teacher Anna, 28, and Livi, 26, a model and beautician.
Vicar Lisa, 62, carefully removed her tell-tale white collar.
‘I’m a priest,’ she told Claudia, ‘not a saint.’
One thing is already plain: this year, it’s the women we’ll have to beware of.
The female of the species is more deadly, fingerless red leather gloves or not.
