Today’s edition of You Couldn’t Make It Up comes from South London, where council staff have been given a day off to compensate them for the ‘trauma’ of dealing with the people who pay their wages.
Labour-run Lambeth Council granted a ‘wellbeing’ day to employees who were forced to endure an ‘abusive’ consultation session with local residents bitterly opposed to the imposition of a Low Traffic Neighbourhood (LTN).
Apparently, some staff and councillors were so upset at the ferocity of the opposition that they were reduced to tears.
The alleged ‘consultation’ took place at a library in West Norwood. I’m surprised that they could find a library still open.
More than 50 people turned up to reject the council’s plans to close off roads and fine motorists who stray into the LTN zone.
Obviously, the consultation was a complete sham, since the anti-motorist nutters who dominate Lambeth, like most other councils in Britain, had no intention whatsoever of scrapping the scheme.
Sixty-seven per cent of residents polled were opposed to the plan. Of the 1,300 people asked for their opinion, 1,021 were agin it. Yet the council had decided, in advance, to ignore them. The supposed ‘consultation’ was a PR stunt. So what was the point of it?
Understandably, those locals who bothered to attend the meeting were royally cheesed off.

Anti-LTN campaigners from West Dulwich outside the High Court on Wednesday. They are attempting to have Lambeth Council’s Low Traffic Neighbourhood scheme overturned
I’m reminded of the fabulous scene in The Sweeney, where a furious Diana Dors under full sail storms into the local nick to air a grievance and demands: ‘Has anybody got time for a ratepayer?’
In Lambeth, and everywhere else for that matter, the answer is ‘No’.
We’re not called ‘ratepayers’ any more. We’re just the mug punters expected to cough up ever-larger amounts of council tax to do as we’re told and keep the staff at the Town Hall in the manner to which they have become accustomed.
That’s how government at every level, local and national, works these days. The idea that these jobsworths are public servants went out of the window years ago.
Their exaggerated sense of entitlement and expectation that they can do whatever the hell they like is institutionalised. That’s why when they come into contact with reality, they fall to pieces. According to evidence at the High Court, where residents are attempting to get the LTN overturned: ‘There was considerable hostility and anger shown by residents at the council’s plans… some of the councillors were in tears and the council team took a lunch break to get away.’

Motorists are being fined millions of pounds due to a confusing and complicated LTN scheme at this roundabout in Dulwich Village
Oh dear, how sad, never mind. ‘The experience of officers attending the event for the council (on a Saturday) was so negative that the then-Head of Transport Strategy and Programmes offered them a day of wellbeing leave.’
After this traumatic meeting, their boss sent round a memo which read: ‘Following Saturday’s event and the horrid time that was had by all I wanted to offer you all a free day off of wellbeing leave (on top of TOIL – time off instead of leave). I know this won’t make up for the unpleasantness of the day but I wanted to do something to show how much we appreciate your commitment and time.’
TOIL? Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble. All of which could have been avoided if they’d just taken notice of local residents’ passionate opinion and called the whole thing off.
The far Left clowns who run the council are more concerned about the ‘wellbeing’ of their mollycoddled employees than the wellbeing of the people they are paid handsomely to represent.
Then again, this is simply par for the course. We The People are regarded as bovine supplicants with no say on how we are governed.
One of the most depressing features of our modern society is those offensive signs in airports and other public buildings warning that anyone who abuses the staff will be prosecuted. But why would we want to abuse the staff, provided they treated us with courtesy and efficiency?

Nobody voted for LTNs, any more than they voted for 20mph limits. These hare-brained schemes have been imposed upon us by fanatics
The truth is that we no longer live in a country even vaguely resembling a democracy. Nobody voted for LTNs, any more than they voted for 20 mph limits, and only having their dustbins emptied once a month. All of these hare-brained schemes have been imposed upon us by fanatics.
So-called ‘consultations’ are merely smoke and mirrors, designed to give a veneer of democratic involvement.
As Lambeth Council’s deputy leader – and Cabinet Member for Sustainable Lambeth and Clean Air – put it helpfully at the High Court: ‘Rather than getting bogged down in lengthy consultations prior to implementation, we use temporary materials to quickly implement changes.’
Translation: Shut up and go away, plebs.
Don’t you just love the ridiculous titles these puff-adders give themselves? Cabinet Member for Sustainable Lambeth and Clean Air? For goodness’ sake.
Cabinet Member? No, you’re not. You’re a jumped up parish councillor. Get over yourself. Sadly, the problem is only going to get worse after Ginge Rayner’s plans to create even larger, more remote, councils.
Ever since local government reform under Grocer Heath in the Seventies, councils have become further removed from the paying public. Be honest, do you know who your local councillor is? Me, neither.
Years ago, with a couple of my neighbours, I attended a planning meeting at Enfield Town Hall to object to a scheme to knock down a perfectly attractive Arts and Crafts style house and replace it with a block of flats. We weren’t allowed to speak, nor was whoever happened to be our councillor at the time, and the decision had already been taken by officials before we got there.
Have a nice day.
So I absolutely understand the frustration of those South London residents who were angry that their objections to an LTN were treated with outright derision. And I have nothing but contempt for the pathetic officials and councillors who burst into tears because they couldn’t deal with the trauma of having to meet the people who pay their wages.
Even if they were roundly abused, they thoroughly deserved it. Has anybody got time for a ratepayer? Sadly, not.