Tori Spelling shares how her daughter’s words influenced her decision to end marriage with Dean McDermott

Tori Spelling revealed what one of her children said to her that ultimately led to her divorce with Dean McDermott.

The reality TV personality, 51, shared that her teenage daughter Hattie, 13, had a conversation with her that led to her decision to leave her then-husband.

During the latest episode of her misSPELLING podcast, the Beverly Hills, 90210 alumna revealed details about the events that occurred before her separation from the 58-year-old actor after 18 years of marriage.

She recalled how it started with her young daughter asking her an important question amid McDermott’s struggles with addiction.

Spelling highlighted that her daughter began the conversation by acknowledging their long history as a couple and expressing love for both her parents. After this, Hattie encouraged her mother to prioritize her own well-being in making a decision.

This comes after Spelling seemingly reignited one of her past romances after she got candid about her fears of ‘dying alone.’ 

Spelling noted that Hattie was not choosing one parent over the other when she asked her: ‘Have you ever considered what it would be like to be with someone else and not Dad and get treated right?’

After that, she said on her podcast that she went on to make the decision to finally leave her longtime husband. 

‘It got to the point where it was worse for the kids to see us together,’ Spelling recounted of the time leading up to their split. ‘We could no longer hide what was happening, the fights.’

She continued: ‘He was an addict going through a lot, and a lot of it was taken out on me.’ 

At the time, Spelling said McDermott was put on psychiatric hold for suicidal ideation after he made headlines for cheating on her in 2013. 

When she told the kids that their father had gone away for a bit for ‘healing,’ Finn had asked if it was ‘because of his anger issues.’ 

Spelling recalled her son telling her: ‘I hope they have surgery on him, and they take out his anger.’ 

The reality star recalled how she felt during that time with her children witnessing their father’s alcoholism and their parents’ marital woes. 

‘I didn’t like the person I was, trying to raise strong humans and just taking it and taking it,’ Spelling said while reflecting on that time before their split. 

She said that she wanted to keep their family together for their children until Hattie shared a different perspective.

Spelling also added that Hattie told her she was ‘scared’ to have that life-changing conversation with her. 

‘The want of kids, just always wanting their parents together, I think kept me from making what was outwardly a better decision for them than what they saw between two partners.’ 

Spelling filed for divorce from McDermott in March 2024, citing ‘irreconcilable differences’ as the reason for the split and listing the official date of separation as June 17, 2023, after nearly two decades of marriage. 

In addition to Hattie, the former couple also share four other children: Liam, 18, Stella, 16, Finn, 12, and Beau, eight.

Last summer, McDermott marked one year of sobriety and celebrated his milestone with a social media post. 

He has since moved on with girlfriend Lily Calo. Meanwhile, Spelling was in a relationship with advertising CEO Ryan Cramer and recently appeared to have rekindled their romance. 

They recently made their red carpet debut together 17 months after they first sparked dating rumors.