On Friday, Pete Hegseth, the former Fox News host, was officially confirmed as Donald Trump’s new Secretary of Defense. The vote was very close and ended up requiring Vice President JD Vance to break the tie.
The contentious nature of the confirmation stemmed from three Republicans aligning with Democrats. These members expressed concerns regarding Hegseth’s previous struggles with alcohol abuse, as well as allegations of abuse and sexual misconduct. Hegseth has denied these allegations.
During a recent episode of Real Time, Bill Maher made a brief mention of Hegseth in a mid-show comedy segment. Maher presented his recurring segment, “Things You Don’t Know About…”, which humorously lists invented ‘facts’ about public figures, often focusing on their controversies or personal shortcomings. The latest edition, titled “24 Things You Don’t Know About Pete Hegseth,” marked the return of this popular gag on the show.
Maher kicked things off with a joke: “When Trump first asked me to be Secretary of Defense, I said, Secretary, I ain’t no woman,” attributing the faux quote to Hegseth.
He continued, “I don’t know the meaning of surrender—or last call.”
Maher poked fun at Hegseth’s personal struggles, saying, “I got the idea for Concerned Veterans for America from veterans saying, ‘We’re concerned about your drinking.’”
He also jabbed at accusations of marital infidelity, quipping, “My favorite sex position is where my wife lies face down and I’m 10 miles away f***ing a cocktail waitress.”
Maher went on: “My ancestors are Norwegian, which is why you often find me sleeping outside with the dog.”
Taking a shot at Hegseth’s alleged conduct in nightlife, Maher joked, “I hold the Guinness record for the number of times being told by a bouncer, ‘Please don’t touch the dancers.’”
“I think Amelia Earhart is proof women can’t drive,” Maher added.
Maher wrapped up with, “My drag name is Miss Ogynist,” and, “I have a tattoo on my penis that reads, ‘You must be this tall to ride.’”
The segment was another example of Maher’s signature comedic style, blending sharp wit with biting satire.
You can watch the full sketch above.
(function(d, s, id) {
var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];
if (d.getElementById(id)) return;
js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;
js.src = “//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&appId=823934954307605&version=v2.8”;
fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);
}(document, ‘script’, ‘facebook-jssdk’));
