Speaking to The London Times, the 50-year-old liberal comedian made it clear that she knows nothing about politics after President Donald Trump won the election in 2016 and again in 2024.
“I thought Hillary [Clinton] was going to win and then I thought Kamala [Harris] was going to win, so I clearly don’t have my finger on the pulse,” Handler admitted with a hollow laugh.
She also said that she’s looking to find an “overseas” husband so she can live outside the United States for the next three years while Trump is in office.
“I’m dying to get the hell out of my country,” Handler said about her upcoming European stand-up tour. “I intend to make sure all of Europe knows how apologetic half of our country is, and I am also hoping to find someone to give me an international marriage license so that I can spend the next three years in a little bit of peace.”
“I would live in London in two seconds,” she added, pointing to the three homes she owns, one of which is in Spain. “I’ve been preparing for this since 2016. I don’t want to abandon this country that has given me this life, but if it becomes too ugly, that is definitely something that I’ve thought about. The American people voted for this guy — twice. At some point, a country kind of deserves what they ask for.”
The rest of the interview is just typical Handler crud, celebrating being single, childless, and talking about wanting to die alone. All of which is just sad and pathetic.
“I feel like I got through the tunnel, the 20-40 age range, where I could have gotten married or I could have had children. There were a couple of proposals; a couple of thoughts of maybe I should have a kid. But I got out of that without doing it. Being 50 now, I feel like I’ve come out the other side. I won, I did it, and I’m free now.”
“I very much want to die alone,” she added. “I look forward to paying some nurse or drug dealer either to put me down like a horse or help usher me out of this world with a large dose of morphine. It seems preposterous to get married or procreate to have someone by my side when I die. I can rent a person to do that.”
Handler’s comments were similar to what she said in a so-called “comedy” skit for The Daily Show when she highlighted the life of a childless woman who has instead sought selfish pursuits that reeked of sadness, as RedState reported.
READ MORE: Chelsea Handler Makes ‘Comedy’ Skit About the Life of a Childless Woman but It Reeks of Sadness
It’s an understanding that parents have that makes Handler’s “joke” fall short and actually come off kind of sad. During the skit, Handler brags about the “weightlessness of my existence,” a phrase that, while true, is actually pitiable. She has no permanence in her life, including her love life which seems to involve emotionless physical contact and a vibrating machine. By the time she becomes too old for any of that, her weightless existence will become the heaviest thing she has to bear as her loveless life of selfish decisions results in no one being there for her that truly has any attachment.
