Fractured Media Award Nominations: Budget Distemper, Funeral Happy Hours, and a Self-Driving Assassin

Our trophy pays tribute to a time when diligent reporters engaged in authentic journalism, crafting stories on cumbersome typewriters. We honor those who make significant errors or produce bold yet inaccurate reports as a nod to the era of investigative journalism and hard work.

This article marks the conclusion of the nominations for this year. Over the next few days, we will reveal the finalists and winners across various categories as we celebrate the recipients of the 2024 Remmys. Stay tuned for the upcoming ceremony!

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

During a transitional period in a presidential term, journalist Chris Cillizza made a significant admission. He expressed regret for not paying more attention to Joe Biden’s decline and for failing to investigate the issue more thoroughly. Essentially, he acknowledges that he missed the mark on practicing true journalism for a substantial period.

While he presents this as a come-to-ethics moment, and his outpouring of a mea culpa is embraced by his audience, it rings completely hollow for one simple reason: Cillizza was not simply caught off guard and failed to vet a story, he was actively fighting against those who were exposing the facts of Biden’s condition and imploring him to investigate the matter fully.

Distinguished National Reporting

During last week’s contentious Continuing Resolution budget battle the esteemed Mr. Hayes felt he had a dagger of a talking point to wound the Republicans who dared strip items from a bill that were not needed. Chris suggested that the GOP was heartlessly cutting the funding to children with cancer over one of the provisions included in the bill. To say Chris was off base is a bit of an understatement.

In repeating a Democrat Party talking point he missed these details:

  • The bill concerns pediatric cancer research, not directly funding kids with cancer.

  • The GOP-led House passed the bill in March, while Chuck Schumer smothered it in the Senate. 

  • There was hardly an emergency to pass this, since it was originally written during the Obama administration.

  • After Republicans suggested voting on it as a separate measure it passed the Senate with a majority vote.

Distinguished National Reporting

In the wake of a Donald Trump victory, the media have been struggling to come to grips with the agenda pushed by the Democrats (and themselves). One response Politico, in looking forward to the next presidential race and the hopes for the Dems, suggested that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would be primed for a presidential run. Just two weeks later, the Democrats showed they did not even want her as the leading party representative on the Oversight Committee.

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

As the press was in a state of conflict over the shooting of the United Health Care CEO, while many were striving to lend support to the killer Luigi Mangione, there was also the need to be critical of parties on the other side. In that effort, there was a desire to somehow saddle Donald Trump with a share of responsibility, and for that cause, there was none more willing than Rachel Maddow.

In her patented blue-anon style, Maddow managed to deliver what she felt was some ironclad evidence of Trump’s culpability. 

Try following here: Trump nominated Blake Masters as the head of the ATF. Masters apparently said some things of the infamous Ted Kaczinski that were less than highly critical (he once referred to him as “a subversive thinker”). Then Maddow found out Mangione at one time posted a favorable review of Kaczinky’s book on the website Goodreads. 

And there you have it – Trump shares…something…about the Unabomber and Luigi Mangione…we think?

Distinguished Breaking News Reporting

Following the attack on Germans in a Christmas marketplace in which 11 people were killed and dozens more were seriously injured the Associated Press delivered one of its less than charming interpretations of the violence.

You see, according to the news syndicate, the automobile apparently was acting alone in this attack.

Distinguished Local Reporting

Have they never heard of an Irish Wake before???

A Columbus funeral home has attempted to come up with a novel concept, according to them. The business is petitioning for a liquor license in order to be able to serve alcohol to mourners. The idea is to help alleviate the downcast mood of mourning services by providing the service of being “a party planner for the dead.”

The Distinguished Headline Medal, Sponsored By the New York Post

The story actually does not quite live up to the promise of that header.  

The Distinguished Non-Story Certificate, Sponsored By Quaker Oats RiceCakes

We are here to inform people that not every utterance from a celebrity nor every piece of minutiae of their private lives constitutes a news item. It is entirely possible to ignore when they prattle on about some detail that has zero bearing on the lives of anyone else.

We say this in response to this entry about Brittany Furlan, the quasi-celebrity married to rock star Tommy Lee. She recently on a podcast informed the audience that the former Motley Crue drummer takes a shower only once per week, but that she does not find this repugnant. Why this needed reporting is beyond the grasp of most salient thinkers.

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