A woman who stopped bringing gifts to weddings has revealed why she thinks everyone else should too.
Ivana Robinson, 34, from Mexico City, Mexico, has received a slew of wedding invites over the last few years as many members of her close friend group have tied the knot.
And while at first she followed the social norm by bringing each one a gift, she decided to do away with it in 2019, after she noticed that she was already forking over ‘thousands’ on the events.
She explained to DailyMail.com that she was spending on everything from the ‘pre-wedding events’ to the ‘cost of travel,’ so she didn’t think forking over even more on a gift was necessary.
‘Between the pre-wedding events, the wardrobe, the cost of travel and taking the time off of work, attending just one wedding can easily set you back thousands of dollars,’ she dished.
She said she viewed bringing presents to weddings as ‘incredibly outdated,’ adding that most of her friends are ‘well-established’ and ‘don’t need’ the gifts.
‘It’s an incredibly outdated social norm. No longer are the days of marriage being the first rite of passage into adulthood,’ she shared.
‘Most of my friends were living well-established lives with their partner for years prior to getting married. They didn’t need a blender from me.’
A woman who stopped bringing gifts to weddings has revealed why she thinks everyone else should too (stock image)
Ivana Robinson, 34, from Mexico City, Mexico, has received a slew of wedding invites over the last few years as many members of her close friend group have tied the knot
According to Ivana, who said she went to nine weddings without bringing a gift, only one of her friends noticed that she hadn’t brought a gift with her.
‘And she was more concerned with making sure I still received a thank you card,’ Ivana insisted.
‘My friends valued my presence most of all and were thrilled that I made the effort to be with them on their special day.’
The Mexico City-resident told DailyMail.com that she hates the ‘expectations’ surrounding gift giving, explaining that it’s become a ‘social obligation’ rather than a thoughtful process.
‘My issue isn’t with gift giving as a practice, but the expectations surrounding it. Gifts should come from the heart. Not social obligation,’ she stated.
In response to those who might feel like wedding gifts are vital to easing some of the cost of the wedding, she encouraged them to ‘interrogate their priorities.’
‘In what other circumstances is it acceptable to expect a guest to cover the cost of an event you decided to host?’ she quipped.
‘If you can’t afford the party, then maybe you should consider other ways to celebrate.
While at first she followed the social norm by bringing gifts, she decided to stop because she was already forking over ‘thousands’ on the events. She’s seen at a friend’s wedding
She explained that she was spending on everything from the ‘pre-wedding events’ to the ‘cost of travel,’ so she didn’t think forking over even more on a gift was necessary
‘The central purpose of a wedding is to celebrate your union with your loved ones. If you’d rather receive a gift than make a shared memory, maybe you should save the invitation.’
In the end, she encouraged others to follow in her footsteps, especially if they’re feeling ‘stressed out’ about being able to afford all the expenses that come with attending nuptials.
‘Gift-giving shouldn’t be stressful and the couple will probably never know unless you bring it up years after the fact,’ she concluded.
Wedding etiquette expert Allison Cullman previously told Brides.com that coworkers, distant relatives, and general acquaintances should give $50-$70 as a wedding gift.
She recommended that friends gift $75-$100 and close family, best friends, and the wedding party give $100-$150+.
‘If you’re attending with a plus-one, it’s customary to double the gift amount,’ she stated.
But the site added, ‘If you’re feeling financial constraints due to other expenses associated with attending the wedding – especially if you’re attending a far-flung celebration – it’s OK to think of those other expenses when deciding what to gift to a couple.
‘If you’ve contributed serious time or money by helping out with the wedding, like hosting the bridal shower or serving as the bride’s makeup artist on the wedding day, you’re not expected to spend on a gift, too.’
