Joe Mantegna’s 47-Year Marriage Was Strengthened by Fight for Daughter’s Life as He Put Family before Career

Joe Mantegna and his wife fell in love in high school. They married ten years after they met. When their first daughter was two and a half, she was diagnosed with autism. Later, they decided to have another daughter.

Joe Mantegna, star of the long-running crime drama, “Criminal Minds,” met his wife in high school. The two met in 1969 when they were both cast in a Chicago production of the play “Hair.” His wife commented that they were just having fun at the time and didn’t get married until later.

Ten years later, in 1979, Joe and his then-girlfriend, Arlene Vrhel went on a trip to Paris, France. There, they went to the very top of the Eiffel tower, where they exchanged vows in private and finally tied the knot in an intimate wedding ceremony.

Finally, in 1986, Arlene became pregnant with their first child. Everything seemed fine at first until she realized that the baby suddenly stopped moving quite as much as usual. The child was diagnosed with an infection in the umbilical cord, leading to a three-month-early delivery.

Nonetheless, Arlene successfully gave birth on June 5, 1987, although the newborn Mia Mantegna only weighed around 1 lb., 15 oz. Their daughter was one of the smallest babies in California. After the nerve-wracking birth, Joe “looked like he hadn’t slept in 10 years,” according to a friend, but he was determined to be a good father.

The father was so worried during the pregnancy that he changed the lightbulb on their porch from white to red, making their house easier to spot if they needed to call the ambulance. But Mia’s troubles weren’t over. When she was two and a half, the little girl was diagnosed with autism.

The two realized that other children her age had started speaking, while Mia had trouble forming words, avoided eye contact, and mimicked sounds. The two parents refused to give in though and doubled down on caring for their daughter. Later, the two even decided to have another child.

The Two Mantegna Daughters

Joe and Arlene had their second daughter, Gina, although everyone calls her Gia, in 1990. His oldest daughter’s autism may have seemed intimidating initially, but it taught the family a lot in the end. Gia especially benefitted from growing up with Mia, since she learned to have compassion from an early age.

Gia had to learn to assume the role of an older child looking after her younger sister. Having two children also turned out to be beneficial, since it taught the two parents a lot about child rearing and about how kids develop. Joe commented:

“I think in some ways you’re strengthened by these kinds of challenges in life. If you can’t totally overcome them, just make the best of the situation.”

The challenges that came with raising their two daughters also strengthened their family ties. Joe shared that Gia became her sister’s guardian and even her mentor in many ways. The parents also realized that they had to approach each child uniquely.

The actor made up his mind early on, deciding that he would rather stand up to pushy producers and place his family before his career.

After seeing his daughters form a special bond, the father of two is very proud of how they turned out. Gia quickly realized that her sister, although high-functioning, needed someone to look out for, and she assumed the role willingly.

Luckily, a few other role models stepped in and assisted Mia throughout her life. Although some people didn’t seem to understand her condition, a helping hand reached out here and there in the form of caring teachers.

Joe Put Family before Work

While Joe and Arlene tried their best to be involved and responsible parents, he had to balance being a full-time actor as well. Despite his career obligations, he was determined not to let his wife handle raising their two daughters on her own. He remembered:

“I would have to do movies in Russia, Canada, or Australia. Do I say, ‘Honey, you’re here with our daughter. Good luck. I’ll be gone for a month or two. I wish you the best?’ Or do I make accommodations?”

The actor made up his mind early on, deciding that he would rather stand up to pushy producers and place his family before his career. Instead of leaving his family behind, he would negotiate for them to join him wherever he had to shoot. He insisted that either they were all going or they had to find someone else.

Joe Mantegna, wife Arlene Vrhel and daughters Mia and Gia Mantegna at the The Festival of Arts in Laguna Beach, California, 2017 | Source: Getty Images

The two girls had an international upbringing as a result. They often moved between different schools and new countries, taking in the local customs and learning a lot. However, as they grew older, the constant moving became a problem since they struggled to keep friends and develop social lives.

Joe eventually decided he had to settle down in one spot and cultivate a more normal routine for his family. His role in “Criminal Minds” allowed him to do just that. After learning so much from seeing the world and raising his daughters, the actor opened up about his approach to complex situations:

“I don’t care how successful you are, who you are, or what walk of life you come from, everyone has their own story of problems and challenges. If having a child with a disability is the worst thing that has happened to me in my life, then so be it. I’ve been lucky in many respects.”

Mia Mantegna, Joe Mantegna, Arlene Vrhel, and Gia Mantegna arrive at the National Arts and Entertainment Journalism Awards Gala at Millennium Biltmore Hotel on December 6, 2015 in Los Angeles, California | Source: Getty Images

Joe‘s daughter Mia now works as a bookkeeper for the family restaurant one day every week. Every other day, she employs her skills as a makeup artist for Inclusion films. Gia decided to follow in her father’s footsteps and became a successful actress.