Julie Cypher Discovered She Wasn’t Gay after Being with Melissa Etheridge for a Decade

Although Julie Cypher never became Melissa Etheridge’s wife, the exes shared a long-term relationship and welcomed children together. After their split, the former couple moved on with new partners, and Julie Cypher remarried another man.

Etheridge has made headlines for more than just her music over the years– from her controversial Hollywood friendships that saw her take the side of Brad Pitt during his clash with his ex-wife to her arrest for drug possession.

However, after the release of her album “Yes I Am,” the well-known music confirmed what fans long speculated– that she was a lesbian. She has since been in multiple relationships, including her highly-publicized romance with Cypher.

Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher photographed on April 10, 2014. | Source: Getty Images

Julie Cypher Was Melissa Etheridge’s Longtime Partner in the ’90s

Cypher was born on August 24, 1964, in Wichita, Kansas. She honed her creativity as a little girl when she enrolled in dance and violin lessons for years and joined the Girls Scouts.

Before her relationship with Etheridge, Cypher married a man, and the exes had worked together on a movie.

Before receiving her tertiary education from The University of Texas, she was a student at Bates Elementary School in Tulsa, Oklahoma, for two years. In 1988, Cypher kickstarted her career behind the camera.

Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher during the 42nd Annual Grammy Awards After Party on February 23, 2000, in California. | Source: Getty Images

While her former partner was making waves in the music industry, Cypher broke into the film industry as a second assistant director. From 1988 to 1990, she was involved in the production of “Demon Wind,” “The First Power,” “Dakota,” and “Stand and Deliver.”

In 1990, Cypher ventured into directing and made her directorial debut on a short titled “Ardous Moon.” In 1992, she directed a music video for Tim McCraw, a famous country singer.

In 1999, Cypher’s involvement in the entertainment industry was recognized when she was nominated for and won the Stephen F. Kolzak Award at the GLAAD Media Awards.

Before her relationship with Etheridge, Cypher married a man, and the exes had worked together on a movie. In 1994, Cypher directed “Teresa’s Tattoo,” which starred C. Thomas Howell and her ex-husband, Lou Diamond Phillips, a fellow director and actor.

Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher at the 27th Annual American Music Awards on January17, 2000, in California. | Source: Getty Images

After meeting Etheridge on the set of her music video, Cypher and Phillips went their separate ways, and her relationship with Etheridge began.

His career on the silver screen and Broadway earned him multiple award nominations, including a Golden Globe nomination for “Stand and Deliver” and a Tony nomination for when he played King Mongkut of Siam.

Phillips and Cypher were married from 1987 to 1990. During this time, Cypher met Etheridge while filming the music video for her hit single, “Bring me Some Water.” Etheridge’s single was from her first album, “Melissa Etheridge,” in 1988 and earned her a Grammy Award Nomination.

In 1989, Etheridge released her second album, “Brave and Crazy,” and her third album, “Never Enough,” followed in 1992. The third time proved the charm as the track “Ain’t It Heavy” from Etheridge’s third album landed her a Grammy win.

Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher at the 2000 Grammy Awards on February 24, 2000, in California. | Source: Getty Images

After meeting Etheridge on the set of her music video, Cypher and Phillips went their separate ways, and her relationship with Etheridge began. Three years later, Etheridge came out as a Lesbian.

Although her fans had already assumed she was gay, Etheridge confirmed the speculation to the crowd during a gay-and-lesbian celebration of the inauguration of Bill Clinton. Her bio on Britannica, in part, reads:

“Soon Etheridge’s relationship with film director Julie Cypher became a matter of public record. The couple, who had been together since 1990, appeared on the cover of Newsweek magazine in 1996…”

A year later, Etheridge released another album, “Yes I am,” which earned her another Grammy award for the song “Come to My Window.” The album also produced the successful track “I’m the Only One.”

Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher at the 1994 VH1 Honors on September 7, 1994, in California. | Source: Getty Images

David Crosby Gave Melissa and Julie “the Gift of Family”

After welcoming their first child, Bailey, Etheridge and Cypher were subjected to speculation and were badgered by the public to reveal their child’s father.

…they shared that David Crosby had fathered their two children but was not involved in their upbringing.

Brad Pitt made the short list of possible candidates, seeing as he and Etheridge were friends, following Etheridge’s interview with a Time Magazine writer. Bruce Springsteen was also a possible suspect after he joined Etheridge on stage during a show in New Jersey.

Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher at the 1998 John Huston Awards on September 10, 1998, in California. | Source: Getty Images

Tom Hanks also had his name thrown around before Cypher and her ex finally decided to reveal who the father of their children was. Their decision to reveal his identity came after the exes grew tired of keeping it a secret.

The rest of Etheridge’s family was also in the dark about who fathered her child, and with Bailey about to start school at the time, Cypher and Etheridge thought it best to let the cat out of the bag. Etheridge said:

“I didn’t want my kids to ever be in a position where someone could come up to them and know something they don’t.”

Thus, they shared that David Crosby had fathered their two children but was not involved in their upbringing. However, Etheridge revealed that Bailey and her younger brother Beckett knew who their father was.

Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher at the premiere of “Star Wars: Phantom Menace” on September 10, 1999, in California. | Source: Getty Images

After Cypher carried and birthed their two children, Etheridge adopted them. However, she shared that the couple often received annoying questions about who the “real” mother was.

“I’m like, ‘That is such an insane question,'” she said before expressing that she and Cypher shared the responsibility for their kids and that the Grammy-winner would jump in front of a speeding truck for her bundles of joy.

After Crosby’s passing earlier this month, Etheridge took to social media to honor her late friend in a heartfelt Facebook post where she said, “He gave me the gift of family. I will forever be grateful to him.”

Julie Cypher Discovered She Was Not Really Gay after Being with Melissa for 10 Years

Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher at the premiere of “Love Letter” on May 21, 1999, in California. | Source: Getty Images

Cypher and Etheridge announced their breakup in 2000 after twelve years together. Afterwhich, Etheridge put pen to paper and revealed the details behind their separation in her memoir. “The Truth Is…: My Life in Love and Music.”

According to Etheridge, Cypher had been unfaithful during their relationship and revealed that she was not gay during a therapy session. The singer shared:

“She said, ‘You know, I’ve tried, and I’ve tried these last couple of years, and I’m just not gay.’ Ten years and two children later seemed like a bizarre time to make that discovery.”

Etheridge ended her relationship with Cypher on her 39th birthday and took a hiatus from music to focus on her children. The exes moved into separate homes but remained very near each other so their children could easily move between their parents.

Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher at the 1996 City of Hope in California. | Source: Getty Images

Julie Found Happiness with a Man after Her Split from Melissa

After parting ways with her ex, Cypher found a new romance with a man named Matthew Hale, and in 2004, they tied the knot. Her ex also entered a new relationship with a famous actress.

Etheridge began dating Tammy Lynn Michaels shortly after her break from Cypher, and by April 2003, Michaels and Etheridge were engaged to be married. They tied the knot later that year and welcomed twins in 2016.

However, their relationship took a nasty turn earlier in 2010 when Michaels revealed that she had learned about their breakup in news headlines. A battle over custody of their children and child support followed.

Melissa Etheridge and Julie Cypher at the 1994 MTV Video Music Awards in New York. | Source: Getty Images

One of Melissa and Julie’s Children Died Tragically

In 2020, one of Etheridge’s representatives shared the news of Etheridge’s son’s death and informed fans that the musician would take a break from performing. In May 2020, Etheridge took to social media and shared:

“Today, I joined the hundreds of thousands of families who have lost loved ones to opioid addiction.”

Born on November 18, 1998, Beckett was 21 when he passed away after a battle with addiction, which led to his death. While announcing the cause of her son’s death, Etheridge added that she was heartbroken and that Beckett’s loved ones loved and missed him.

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