Rob Lowe Became Mom’s Caregiver — From Choosing Doctors to Driving to Appointments He Stayed with Her until the End

After watching his stepmother care for his ill father, Rob Lowe was inspired to be a dedicated caregiver to his mother when she was diagnosed with stage four cancer. The experience was difficult and life-changing in many ways but it showed Lowe how caregivers are systematically ill-treated.

Actor Rob Lowe witnessed his father Charles Lowe fight cancer as his stepmother cared for him until he recovered. Two years after Lowe’s father healed, he divorced his stepmother, and the actor confessed that he believed the stress from Charles’ illness contributed.

Having seen his stepmother dedicate her life to caring for Charles from a young age made Lowe understand the importance of family, especially when his mother, Barbara Hepler, was also diagnosed with cancer.

Rob Lowe and his father Charles Lowe at the Emmy Awards in California in 2002. | Source: Getty Images

Hepler did not have a husband or a romantic partner at the time, so it was up to Lowe and his brothers to ensure that their mother was taken care of.

This was the first time the actor experienced what it means to be a full-time caregiver. He revealed that he and his brothers were so involved, from searching for doctors to researching treatment options, to driving her to appointments.

Rob Lowe in Toronto in 2009. | Source: Getty Images

At the time, things were not going too well in Lowe’s professional life. He was starring and producing a new show, “The Lyon’s Den,” which was receiving low rankings and was on the verge of cancellation. Thus, trying to balance a demanding personal and professional life made Lowe value the relief that his siblings brought.

The actor wanted to take care of his mother without having to choose between her and his job. He worked hard to save his show, but it was canceled. Moreover, the experience of taking care of his mother and seeing her fight this brutal disease was difficult for Lowe and his brothers.

Taking Care of His Dying Mother

The process of navigating his mother’s needs was heartbreaking because Lowe and his brothers did not only have to think of treatments, but they also had to make plans for her eventual death.

Knowing that they would have to face the pain of putting their mother in a hospice and await her last breath was incredibly difficult for the Lowe siblings.

Robe Lowe, his brother Chad, and their mother Barbara Hepler in California in 2001. | Source: Getty Images

However, when Hepler passed away in 2003, her death came with peace rather than pain. Lowe credits this to the amount of time he was able to spend with his mother while caring for her throughout her sickness. For Lowe, it felt like they were able to have every conversation they needed and spent all the time they needed together.

Lowe said the hidden gem of being a caregiver is that you get to have talks, resolve issues, and express love to one another, which makes the final goodbye easier.

Hepler was a teacher and writer that put words to paper every day of her life. Lowe said she gave him the gift of appreciating words and loving literature, which he tries to pass on to his children.

Lowe once expressed that it is the human connection and the love you experience with your loved ones that truly matter in life, and he felt fortunate to have had that with his mother before she died.

Although his mother suffered throughout her battle with stage four cancer, taking care of her brought Lowe closer to her in ways that continue to inspire him. The actor said he thinks about Hepler every day.

Rob Lowe Helps Caregivers All around the World

Since the passing of his mother, Lowe has become a spokesperson for caregivers and uses his platform to raise awareness for the mental and physical toll caregivers face.

In 2019, US Today reported that 40 million Americans were full-time unpaid caregivers for their family members, most of whom are millennials.

With first-hand experience of what it takes to care for a loved one, Lowe emphasized that the job was draining and leads to people isolating their needs to meet those of their patients. The most significant factor that affects young caregivers is the choice between looking after their loved ones and pursuing a career.

Lowe said he was fortunate enough to have his brothers, but the process was still not easy; therefore, he advised those doing it alone to take time to care for themselves.

A study showed that over half of unpaid caregivers suffer from depression, sleep deprivation, and weight fluctuation. This does not include the financial strain that comes with this role.

It has also been shown that it is not easy for a private caregiver to get special leave days allocated for this unpredictable situation. US Today reported that most people sacrifice their holidays and sick days to nurse their loved ones.

Furthermore, the medical jargon, the appointments, and the treatments can become overwhelming for anyone, especially a person caring for a patient alone.

Therefore, Lowe advocated that caregivers can make their experience better if they are allowed to have honest conversations about the difficulty of their situation and to have time to care for themselves.

Additionally, when caregivers can attend to their needs and speak about their reality, it creates a pleasant experience for them and the patient.

Lowe advised caregivers to think about making their nursing experiences positive so that when the time comes to an end, they can look back at how they cared for a loved one in the most challenging time of their lives and continuously gave them love until the end.

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