Single Dad of Conjoined Twins Has to Choose Whether to Save One Girl with Separation Surgery or Risk Losing Both

As a parent, there’s no such thing as choosing between one child or another. This one dad of conjoined twins faced the difficult decision of choosing to undergo separation surgery fatal to one or risking raising both, knowing they possibly won’t survive.

When one becomes a parent, the stakes change. You’re no longer caring for yourself alone but responsible for your children’s lives.

Raising kids means working hard to provide them with what they need and making decisions that you feel are best for them. For one dad in Senegal, his decisions were more than just choosing what food to feed his kids or what school to put them in—he needed to decide whether or not they should undergo separation surgery.

Learning About His Kids’ Fate

The single dad was forced to make a heartbreaking decision regarding his daughters after discovering they were conjoined twins. When Marieme and Ndeye were born in 2016, their dad Ibrahima Ndiaye was told they wouldn’t live long.

Conjoined twins, he learned from the doctor, rarely survived childbirth; if they did, they’d usually pass on soon after delivery. In fact, conjoined twins are very rare, with only 1 out of 60,000 pregnancies resulting in them.

The twins’ birth came as a shock in Ibrahima’s native Senegal. Despite multiple scans, the doctors never detected that his wife was having twins.

Knowing His Life was Changing

When Ibrahima saw his daughters for the first time, he knew his life had changed for good. He also realized he needed to look beyond Senegal for help due to their complicated condition.

At the time, Ibrahima worked as a tourism firm’s managing director. He began searching for hospitals that had successful experiences in separating conjoined twins.

His daughters, Marieme and Ndeye, had their own hearts and lungs. However, they shared a stomach, liver, bladder, and digestive system, making the operation difficult.

Getting the Chance of a Lifetime

Ibrahima and his daughters were turned away by hospitals in Zimbabwe, Norway, Sweden, Belgium, Germany, and the US. Eventually, only the Great Ormond Street Hospital in London agreed to a consultation.

Thanks to Senegal’s first lady Marieme Faye Sall’s charity, Ibrahima, his wife, and their twins traveled to the UK in February 2017. Unfortunately, when they arrived, the doctors discovered that Marieme’s heart was too weak to survive such a complicated operation.

They advised the parents to push through with the operation to save Ndeye. It was difficult for Ibrahima, who couldn’t bear the thought of losing his children.

Marieme and Ndeye | Source: Facebook.com/BBC Wales News

Deciding on the Mindboggling Advice

It didn’t take much for Ibrahima to decide on what to do. He was a dad to twins, not to a single child, thus, “Killing one of my children for another is something I cannot do,” he admitted. He expounded on his decision, saying:

“It was sacrificing one for the other, which in my moral, spiritual, and parental point of view wasn’t possible. I said no.”

By the time Ibrahima decided, he no longer had a job to return to in Senegal. His wife chose to return home while he and his daughters remained in London to get them the health care they needed to survive.

His wife’s decision left him as the sole carer of the twins. She returned home to Senegal to look after her other child and kept in touch with Ibrahima and the twins through occasional phone calls.

Making the Right Decisions

In 2019, The Great Osmond Street Hospital tried to propose a separation surgery, but Ibrahima refused because of the risks involved. His gut feeling turned out to be right because the doctors had found that the children’s circulatory systems were more closely linked than previously thought, and neither would have survived the separation.

Through it all, Ibrahima did everything to give his children a normal childhood. Despite doubts from doctors that his twins would survive, they are now six years old and thriving.

The family of three now lives in a public housing apartment in Cardiff, and the children attend public school. Their schoolmates have been accepting of Marieme and Ndeye.

Marieme and Ndeye | Source: Facebook.com/BBC Wales News

Thriving School-Age Children

Ndeye has no trouble getting along with others and is seen as a social butterfly, while Marieme struggles with some learning delays and is more reserved than her sister. Ibrahima is proud of how his girls have defied expectations and hopes they continue to do so.

“I constantly tell them how beautiful they are to God, who created them, and how special they should feel. How can anyone not see they are special? They’re my miracles,” he gushed about his children.

While some may think being together 24/7 would lead to quarreling between the siblings, it rarely happens. Elleni Ross, the head of social work at Great Ormond Street, credits Ibrahima for raising them well.

Marieme and Ndeye | Source: Facebook.com/BBC Wales News

Crediting Ibrahima’s Great Parenting

“He’s so patient with them, and their faces light up when he comes in the room. Ibrahima tells them they’re special, not disabled,” she shared.

The proud dad has done everything in his power for his children to survive, but it’s come with some difficulties. As the twins cannot stand or walk on their own, it is physically, mentally, and financially demanding to care for them.

Ibrahima, who suffers from back pain, cannot easily carry his children because they weigh almost 80 lbs. They instead have a standing frame, which helps them to stand up.

Ibrahima Ndiaye | Source: Facebook.com/BBC Wales News

Putting His Children First

Ibrahima can do limited things because his children need supervision night and day. He needs to ensure Ndeye doesn’t roll over her sister while sleeping.

Ultimately, the children won’t learn to walk until a few years. Doctors are cautious about teaching them how to walk because their top half is heavy and their legs are weak. They also don’t know how walking would affect Marieme’s weak heart.

For their proud dad, he wants nothing more than for his children to survive and live happy lives. Instead of thinking too much about their future, he takes things one day at a time and even one hour at a time.

At the end of the day, Ibrahima is just grateful for his children and for the chance to be their dad. Instead of dwelling on his challenging situation, he considers himself lucky to be a part of his twins’ journeys.

Click here to read another inspiring story about a pair of conjoined twins who were told they had a slim chance of survival yet are now budding school-age children.