Whoopi Goldberg Was ‘Never Really in Love’ despite Her 3 Marriages Giving Birth at 18

Whoopi Goldberg blamed herself for her three failed marriages. She said it took her a long time to realize that she “wasn’t meant to be in a relationship.” Instead, she devotes all her time to her “No. 1” priority, her daughter.

Whoopi Goldberg may be one of the best-known actors in Hollywood. Not only has she featured in an astounding amount of films, but she is also the first African-American woman to be awarded an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony award.

But Whoopi’s married life hasn’t been as successful as her professional career. The actress has been married three times in the past, but each union ended in divorce. Her first partner was Alvin Martin, Whoopi’s drug counselor at the time.

Whoopi Goldberg at 55th Annual CLIO Awards at Cipriani Wall Street on October 1, 2014 in New York City | Source: Getty Images

The actress apparently met Alvin in 1973 when she was struggling with substance abuse. She was 18 when they married, and that same year, Whoopi gave birth to their child. Their daughter was named Alex Martin.

Although Whoopi never had another child, Alex had three children. Whoopi later also became a great-grandmother. But the first years of her marriage were tough. The actress was penniless, and she and her daughter survived on food stamps. Whoopi’s daughter shared:

“Seriously … I remember that. I remember we had the one-room space and we slept in the bed together. I remember when we wanted to travel we would drive across the country in broke-down bugs. We didn’t have the money to go to movies.”

David Claessen, Whoopi Goldberg and Alex Martin at Whoopi Goldberg Wedding Reception, 1986, in Los Angeles, California, United States | Source: Getty Images

In 1979, though, Whoopi and Alvin’s marriage ended. The Oscar winner spent some time alone, then married a Dutch cinematographer, David Claessen, in 1986. The two got along well, but the marriage didn’t last either. In 1988, Whoopi and David got a divorce and went their separate ways.

She remarked that no man would be able to be more important to her than her child, Alex.

Meanwhile, Whoopi’s career had been kicked off with the movie “The Color Purple” in 1985. She didn’t have the financial problem she had during her first marriage, and she was even nominated for an Oscar for best actress thanks to the film.

Whoopi Goldberg and husband David Claessen at the 5th Annual “L’Chaim, To Life!” Telethon, 1986 | Source: Getty Images

The actress tried marriage for a third time with Lyle Trachtenburg in 1994. Lyle was a union organizer for The International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees, Moving Picture Technicians, Artists and Allied Crafts (IATSE). Their marriage only lasted for a year.

Whoopi Said She Was “Never Really in Love”

Whoopi went through three marriages, each of which failed. Eventually, the actress started blaming herself for the divorces. She decided that she was the common denominator in every situation. She thought she was the determining factor.

But this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Whoopi realized that she always tried to please the public and the men she was with instead of doing what she really wanted. The “Sister Act” star decided to do some introspection, and she commented:

“My marriages failed, and I was the common denominator. My commitment was never that strong. I can say now that I was never really in love.”

Lyle Trachtenberg and Whoopi Goldberg at the Dream Street Foundation Award dinner on October 22, 1994 in Beverly Hills, California | Source: Getty Images

Whoopi said that in relationships, people expected her to share information. They wanted her to tell them why she was doing certain things in specific ways. She wasn’t prepared to do that. She realized she wasn’t willing to make the other person feel better or share too much with them:

“Look, people expect you to have a boyfriend. They expect you to get married. So I kept trying to do that, but I didn’t want to share information with somebody else.”

The actress said that she’d often wonder why she didn’t feel what she was supposed to in relationships. Although she cared for her husbands and boyfriends, she was never really in love with any of them. The actress admitted that she may not have been as committed as they were.

Whoopi Goldberg and her daughter Alex Martin at the 1991 MTV Video Music Awards at in Los Angeles, California | Source: Getty Images

Eventually, the “Sarafina!” star came to a conclusion. She realized that she was happy on her own and that she didn’t need to marry. Although people often expected her to marry, she saw that she didn’t have to conform:

“Then one day I thought: I don’t have to do this. I don’t have to conform. I tried marriage, and it wasn’t for me. You can’t be in a marriage because everybody’s expecting you to.”

She decided not to marry again after her third husband and hasn’t looked back since. She shared that she was happy not being married. Although she got along with a few men very well, the realization that she didn’t have to marry them freed her.

Whoopi Goldberg, with her Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, at the 63rd Annual Academy Awards at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, California, 25th March 1991 | Source: Getty Images

Whoopi’s only real regret is that she didn’t come to this epiphany sooner. She said she tried marriage and learned it wasn’t for her. She also dated the former James Bond actor Timothy Dalton from 1990 until 1991, but it didn’t last too long. The comedian also went out with Ted Danson between 1992 and 1994.

Whoopi’s Number One Priority

Without a husband and after she found commercial success, Whoopi is free to spend her time however she likes. The “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” actress has decided to invest her energy into her daughter, her grandkids, and her great-grandkids.

Besides her unwillingness to marry, Whoopi decided to make her daughter her first priority the moment she was born. She remarked that no man would be able to be more important to her than her child, Alex:

“Whoever comes into my life is never going to be No. 1. The kid is No. 1. Always. And I could never explain that to anyone … That’s my priority, that’s the person I need to pay attention to.”

Whoopi Goldberg and daughter Alex Martin Dean attend the 2015 BET Upfronts presentation at Jazz at Lincoln Center on April 23, 2015, in New York City | Source: Getty Images

The Academy Award winner also has her grandchildren and great-grandchildren to think about. She jokingly stated that with all of the offspring, she definitely doesn’t have time for a romantic relationship:

“You’re probably going to be ninth now.”

It seems Whoopi’s teachings have influenced her daughter. Alex chose to follow in her mother’s footsteps by becoming an actress. She featured in “Sister act 2: Back in the Habit,” “American Intellectuals,” and “Strange as Angels.”

Whoopi Goldberg, Alex Martin, Mason Dean and Amarah Dean at Nickelodeon’s 19th Annual Kids’ Choice Awards, 2006 at Pauley Pavilion in Westwood, CA, United States |Source: Getty Images

Alex is also a loving mother of two daughters, Amarah Skye Dean and Jerzey Dean, as well as a son, Mason Dean. Alex shares her children with her husband, Bernard Dean. Amarah also had a daughter named Charli Rose, making Alex a grandmother and Whoopi a great-grandmother.

The Emmy winner shared the new addition to the family on Instagram, breaking the news excitedly while feeding the newborn. In it, she said:

“Everyone, meet the new addition to my family Charli Rose. I’m doing something I [haven’t] done in 40 years. I’m actually feeding!”

Whoopi is grateful to have her daughter and her ever-expanding family to look after. The comedian obviously enjoys spending time with all of her offspring and makes an effort to place them before anything. She also started a new show, “According to Alex,” in which she featured her own daughter.