‘Woke Jesus’ from Babylon Bee says to turn the other cheek, except for Republicans: ‘Feel free to punch them in the face’

Christian satire outfit the Babylon Bee has released a new video that’s bound to get leftists fuming as everyone else laughs: “Woke Jesus.”

The clip follows Woke Jesus around the countryside as he delivers well-known commands and truths from the Gospels in a pseudo British accent — but with a left-wing twist.

“Do not be afraid,” Woke Jesus gently replies to Martha. “For Lazarus will live again — through this mail-in ballot.”

The video opens with Woke Jesus walking on a road as people follow him, and he tells them: “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn and offer the other also — unless they’re a Republican, then you can feel free to punch them in the face.”

Boom.

Yes, it would seem Woke Jesus is exactly what leftists dream of and imagine him to be; he supports all their important causes.

Here’s his stance on abortion: “Let the children come unto me, and do not hinder them — unless they might be born into poverty, or they might be an inconvenience to your party lifestyle. In that case, feel free to murder them in the womb.”

Image source: YouTube screenshot

Wondering how Woke Jesus feels about the transgender agenda? He declares, “Haven’t you read that in the beginning, God created them male and female — and gender queer, femboy, trans man, trans woman, Two Spirit …”

While Woke Jesus’ voice fades out, and another scene takes over, hilariously the video intermittently returns to Woke Jesus as he keeps rattling off endless, ridiculous, multiple genders: “Bigender, nonbinary, demi-boi, omni-gender, pan-gender, xeno-gender, someone who identifies as a large ornate building.”

Think Woke Jesus buys into that “love your enemies” stuff? Think again.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Hate your enemies,’ but I say to you, this is correct,” Woke Jesus says before turning to a familiar visual aid. “And here’s a handy little chart to help you understand who your enemy is based on Marxist intersectionality theory.”

Image source: YouTube screenshot

‘Be less white’

The biggest satirical takedown may be the send-up of the rich young ruler approaching Jesus and asking him, “What must I do to be saved?”

We’re used to the Gospel accounts that indicate Jesus tells him to sell all his possessions, give to the poor, and then to “follow me.”

Not Woke Jesus.

Image source: YouTube screenshot

To be saved, Woke Jesus tells the man to “be less white.”

The narrator then notes that “the man went away sad, for he was very white.” Ouch!

You’d think Woke Jesus would at least possess the compassion to raise his friend Lazarus from the dead, but when Martha approaches him in tears and says, “My Lord, if you had been here, my brother Lazarus would not have died,” Woke Jesus has something else in mind.

“Do not be afraid,” Woke Jesus gently replies to Martha. “For Lazarus will live again — through this mail-in ballot.”

Image source: YouTube screenshot

The Woke Jesus hits just keep on coming:

• “I’m the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father — except by reducing their carbon footprint and getting vaccinated 12 times, like me.”
• “Cancel your enemies, curse those who bless you, and burn down the whole country if you don’t get your way.”

Woke Jesus goes on to endorse the “pretty sweet” leftist tactic of “wealth redistribution” as well as a “new health care bill that will force you to buy insurance. Because I — I’m a good person.” His answer to the evils of capitalism? An “eat the rich!” chant.

Check it out:

Woke Jesusyoutu.be