Woman with Down Syndrome Loses Friends Because of Her Pregnancy – She’s ‘Proud’ of Her Child 27 Years Later

In 1996, a mother with Down syndrome named Lisa Newtop gave birth to a boy named Nic. When Lisa became pregnant, some of her friends distanced themselves from her because their parents thought she could be a bad influence on the children.

Feisty and headstrong, Lisa Newtop grew up to be an astonishingly independent young woman who was fiercely determined to blaze her own trail, in spite of her Down syndrome. At a mere 16 years old, she boldly declared her intention to fly the nest and carve her own destiny. At the age of 30, she got pregnant with her boyfriend, surprising her mom, Patti White.

Despite having a job and being in a relationship, some friends questioned her ability to become a mother. But Lisa was not deterred, and with the unwavering support of her incredible mother, she gave birth to her precious child with Down syndrome too 27 years ago.

Lisa and Patti were true trailblazers, paving the way for others with Down syndrome who still struggle to start their own families today. “I am proud of my son,” Lisa says. Their path has been thorny, but it’s been worth it.

Patti recalled the amazing moment she found out she was going to be a grandmother. She was checking her messages, and there was a message from Lisa saying, “Hi, Mom. I just wanted to call to let you know that you’re going to be the [sic] grandmother.” Patti admitted she listened to the message three times.

But while Patti was supportive of her daughter’s pregnancy, her close friends weren’t. Patti recalled her friends telling her, “You shouldn’t take this on, you can do an open adoption.”

Patti, who had just tied the knot with her husband Norm a few years earlier, couldn’t even fathom the thought of surrendering Lisa’s bundle of joy to someone else. However, she worried it would be too much for Norm.

To Patti’s surprise, with unwavering determination, Norm locked eyes with her and declared, “No matter what you decide to do, I’m going to be there for you.”

In contrast, many of Lisa’s friends alienated her. Their parents were afraid Lisa would influence their daughters.

Eventually, Lisa and her boyfriend Tim welcomed their son, Nic, on February 10, 1996. Like his mother, Nic also has Down syndrome, and Lisa began to experience difficulties with motherhood.

She was very sensitive at the time, and when Nic cried, she thought he was in pain and felt responsible: “She couldn’t grasp that babies just cry, often for no reason at all,” Patti said. Lisa and Tim made the decision to relocate to Sacramento in order to be closer to Patti and Norm, after the birth of their child, Nic.

“We knew they would need a lot of support and services,” Patti explained. According to Patti, their decision to seek out the guidance of experts was one of the smartest moves they made.

The Whites knew just what to do when Lisa struggled to select the right toy for her son. They enlisted the help of an expert who visited their home and demonstrated the ins and outs of toy selection. Nevertheless, the road was not without its bumps. Patti recalls how, in the early days, Lisa would get irritated with her son whenever he did something that bothered her: “When he was little and did something that annoyed her, she thought he was doing it on purpose and she’d get upset,” Patti admits.

When Nic was only 5 years old, his father sadly passed away from heart disease, but he grew up surrounded by love and care from his two moms, Lisa and Patti, who have been with him every step of the way.

Now 27, Nic still lives with Patti in Stockton, California, and Lisa has an apartment nearby. Despite losing his father, Nic speaks highly of his two moms, describing Lisa as “loving and caring” and praising Patti’s cooking skills. “I’m lucky because I have two moms,” he says.

Nic has big dreams and aspirations, including becoming a busboy, rapper, DJ, and director. He has already appeared in movies and television shows as an actor. According to Patti, Nic is constantly writing scripts, and she hopes he will write one about him and his mom.

Although Lisa loves to brag about her son, according to Patti, she sometimes struggles to let him make his own decisions and treats him younger than he is.

With the passing of Norm, in 2021, Patti leans on her friends at the Global Down Syndrome Foundation for support. As for what the future holds for Lisa and Nic, Patti, who is 75, is still trying to work out a plan. “That is the billion-dollar question for any person who has a disabled offspring, and I’m not satisfied with my answer at this moment,” she says.

Despite these concerns, Nic graduated from the Wayfinders program at California State University, Fresno in 2020 and hopes to move out of Patti’s home and into his own in the coming months.