- A woman got engaged to a man she had dated for three years but did not meet often because he was in the military.
- Whenever they met, the woman learned more about his personality, including some of his beliefs that she disagreed with.
- Soon, the man revealed his true self to her, making her rethink her decision to marry him.
After dating a man for three years, a woman tied the knot with him, thinking he was the right person for him. She had known him for years before they began dating, but there was something she never knew about him.
The 25-year-old woman took to Reddit to explain what her fiancé had been hiding from her, making her rethink her decision to marry him. Before jumping to the main story, the woman shared that her fiancé, Dave, was white while she and her family were black.
Since Dave was in the military, he mostly stayed out of town, restricting the couple’s meetings to about five days per month. However, they did spend a month or two in summer together, where they had most of their conversations.
While spending time with him, the woman learned a few things about his personality that bothered her. She revealed that Dave disliked fat people to the extent that he insulted strangers who were overweight and laughed at them.
Besides, he called himself an “imperialist” and a “sexist” and believed the police would feel threatened by the woman’s brother because of his color. The woman said she always told him he shouldn’t think like that, and the man would agree. He said he no longer held those beliefs but soon revealed his true self to her.
How Did Her Fiance Reveal Himself?
Everything was going fine until the couple got into an argument about how systemic racism is bad for the country. The man said it was unfavorable for the country’s image, while the woman said it was wrong because black people deserve to be treated rightly.
The couple argued until the man said he could never make her happy no matter what he said. Then, he said something shocking that the woman wasn’t expecting. She recalled:
“He is ‘tired of hiding who [he] is around me.'”
When the woman asked Dave what he meant, he said he couldn’t pretend to lie about not believing in the prejudices he told her about earlier. He said he was “trying to suppress” his feelings while being around her.
One of them was that he disliked people who were overweight and thought it was okay. Hearing his confession made the woman realize that so many things he had said in the past supported what he had just confessed.
She recalled that he often called her to ask how much she had eaten and kept a check on his mother’s diet. He also insulted her friends for being “fat” and asked her why some of her family members were not thin. He also confessed he didn’t want to have a baby with her because she would gain weight in the process.
After learning about his true beliefs, the woman felt unsure about marrying him because she believed he had broken her trust. “I’ve lost trust and honestly have not felt the same about our relationship since that day,” she said.
After the incident, the couple went for marriage counseling, and Dave said he had really stopped believing in those prejudices, but the woman couldn’t trust him. She said what he did indicated that he lacked empathy, which she did not want in her partner.
After sharing everything, the woman asked other Redditors for advice regarding her relationship. She wanted their opinions to decide whether to tie the knot with him.
What Did People Advise the Woman?
One Redditor said, “Sounds like a great opportunity to send him back his ring by registered mail with a nice note saying that this is not going to work.” The user consoled the woman, saying she would find someone better soon.
Meanwhile, other users told the woman she and Dave weren’t compatible. A Redditor said, “He’s obviously racist. You’re black! Your kids will look black to most people!! Do you want them around a dad like that?” Another user said:
“You will both end up miserable, divorced, and hating each other.”
A few days after sharing her story on Reddit, the woman posted an update regarding her relationship. She said she broke off her engagement through a call with Dave but still hadn’t returned the ring.
During the phone call, Dave kept telling the woman she was making a mistake by leaving him and said she had “destroyed him” and did not love him. Despite his remarks, the woman stood firm on her decision and parted ways with him.
“I am grieving such an immense loss, which is hard to communicate because others see it as a win by leaving an unhealthy relationship,” the woman said before thanking everyone for their advice.
Do you think the woman did the right thing by leaving Dave? What would you have done if you were in her shoes?
Here is another story about a man who broke his promise to his fiancée and opened her safe while she was away. He wanted to prove to his friends that he was a “big man.”